Because no one else will.
Also, because no one cares about you.
It’s true. You’re needy, poor and clueless.
And just like a tinder-surprise gone wrong, everyone is looking for an “emergency” to get as far away from you and your boring new business idea as possible.
Agencies and consultants don’t want you. You’re too much work. Your idea is untested, too volatile and too likely to fail. It’s possible that you think that once you get your Facebook page set up, you’ll have millions of dollars to burn, when the reality is your entire business could be set up wrong from the outset.
But it’s OK. You’re not alone.
Which also means you’re not the first person who’s needed help before, but not been able to get it because they’re needy, poor and clueless.
That’s why you should listen to us. Because we want to give this to you. For now.
We want to give you the exact step-by-step process for getting your new business idea from 0 clients/sales to 1 client/sale.
So now you’re probably thinking: “You’re going to help me get 1 client/sale. Sorry, who’s the boring one in this relationship?”
I can assure you it’s me. It’s always me.
But that aside, we only want to get you to 1 because, as you’re probably experiencing right now, getting that first one is often the hardest.
Why are you doing this for me?
Because of this little known fact: According to an episode Netflix’s Bossgirl I saw a few weekends ago, 95% of all businesses fail in the first 5 years.
Luckily for you, this is a TV show. According to actual research it’s more like 50%.
I also remember finding a quote somewhere on the internet (that I can no longer find) that went something like this:
“Most businesses fail because of a failure to spend on marketing”.
Inspiring right? You can buy the T-Shirt here.
So how much should you spend. Well it fluctuates between industry, but the Wall Street Journal seems to quote an average of 7 to 8 percent of your total revenue.
“But 7 to 8 percent of the $0 I currently turnover is $0, right?”
Exactly, that’s why want to give this to you for free.
We want to selflessly help you get that first customer because once you have that first customer, 7 to 8 percent of that figure will be infinitely greater than 0. Which thereby means you’ll have potentially $7 to $8 burning a hole in your pocket next month. With that we’re hoping you’ll fall so madly and deeply in love with us and the advice we’ve shared that you’ll want to flick $5 our way buy an eBook. That eBook will then wisely tell you how to spend your leftover $2 to $3 for maximum impact.
Can’t say we’re not honest, right?!
But, also because we’re impartial
Well kind of. James is partial to large amounts of wine, whilst Brendan, largely whining about people doing things differently to how he would.
But in an objective sense, the advice we give you is based on what we know will works best for you. It’s not based on us trying to sell you a particular service or product that makes us fat commission.
Having said this though, there will be times when we may be swayed by some underlying bias. For example, Brendan is likely to slip-up and shamelessly spruik the services of where he works, Reload Media. And James is likely to try and leverage subversion tactics to make you purchase insurance and meerkets. However we will clearly call out anything that may be clouding our judgement in such situations so you can transparently understand our delusions of grandeur where they occur.
Finally, we’ve got friends in high places.
And by that, we don’t just mean they live in multi-story dwellings.
Some of them are kind of a bid deal too.
Because we don’t expect you to just take our word for it, we’ve called in reinforcements. It just-so-happens that these friends are experts in their fields. Passionate professionals who have worked with some of the biggest (and smallest) brands out there, and who love to share their talents and wisdom for the greater marketing good.
You’ll therefore notice that we haven’t, say, pretended to be experts in social media. We haven’t made a whole bunch of stuff up based on that one time we did a Facebook post and got 12 likes, so therefor please believe our lies about how proficient we are.
We’ve actually gone out and consulted with someone who has done this, and only this, for years and years and years. And because of this, they know exactly what it is that works and doesn’t, and have decided to lovingly share this wisdom with us all. You’ll also notice that we’ve then gone and included their contact details too in case you get really, really stuck and need to engage their help.
Just be mindful, if you do decide to get by with a little help from my friends, some may need to charge for their services depending on what level of advice you need to seek. However none of this fee will ever go to us. There is no incentive for us at all to publish any information, or seek the advice of any particular person. It’s all purely on the fact that these people are who we consider the best in their field, and who are kind enough to help us out with their insights.
So, you can see there’s a lot of reasons as to why should listen to us.
Wanna find out what the grand plan is? Or may we teach you now?